allaya blog

Sharing and allowing others to witness my vulnerabilities and insecurities is the most difficult part of my journey in life. I have seriously questioned my motives for this.  To place myself in the public arena and be real.  To be real and authentic, a very scary proposition.  I have hidden my true self since childhood and continued to do so until Now.  I believe this is a pattern for all who care to read this if we are honest with ourselves.  Our desire to fit in and be accepted by others vs what we know and feel inside.  To not be labeled or judged.  to live our lives quietly and hope no one will notice.  Then we come to a cycle in different parts of our lives where we tire of the suppression and speak out.  So what happens instead of support, after a brief period of vocal freedom, many of us retreat again into ourselves.  suppressing all that is within us.  Society says in its many forms, BE QUIET or follow what your environment dictates.  The Norm.  The safe old patterns.  Do Not rock the Boat.  People will make fun of you.  Have we ALL not heard these.  So there comes a time we need to decide what our soul shares.  Some, like i did join groups of like minded finding our voice.  Then we find, we seemingly do not fit again and move to another.  A repeating cycle, until we have allowed ourself to be comfortable.  There are always triggers thrown at us unexpectedly which make us doubt and want to go back to the old ways of security and comfort.  Each time, not as devasting.

We have weathered this spiritual evolution, and many who are comming out like myself to share, are doing so from our hearts.  We do not fit  the present society image of qualified speakers.  We are just like you, facing our insecurities and inner demons brought up to face by these dark nites of soul we all are experiencing. By walking through and experiencing these challenges ourselves, we are able to shine the light on the path so you may understand through our experience.  We wil never tell you How to do it but to support you thru your own inner knowledge which is waiting for you to explore.

If you were just to choose to overcome your fears of what you are and take the first step, you will find there are many like yourself sharing of their hearts and wisdom and coming together thru community.  Break the old boundaries of understanding, judgments and fears.  We created them so we can break them by changing ourselves.  Overcome and shine the heart lights you are.  We are doing this together.


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